14

Can a MIL be a genuine mother?

mil

You would have come across various prose and poetic pieces on various media on ‘Mother’ but have you encounter any write ups or poetry on ‘Mother-in-Law’? We must treat all females of our mother’s age as our own mothers, then where had all the praise vanished for a mother-in-law? We celebrate mother’s day but have you heard of any mother-in-law’s day. It may exist but with a low profile.

When I asked these questions to some of my friends, I got a single reiterated answer; a mother-in-law (MIL) cannot, by any means, replace or match the mother. Surprisingly, even though, the same person is playing both the roles but the differences in the character and the nature creep in automatically by design. Some of the male friends did admit that their MIL showers almost similar affection as their mother but the females unanimously had a single answer and that was in negative.

And, I too felt the difference seeing the females getting such biased treatment by their MIL. Though, not many differences are experienced with father and the Father-in-law by the couples, when it comes to mother and MIL, it turns out to be drastic. This is supported by the well accepted conclusion that, a woman cannot by any reason, treat her daughter and daughter-in-law (DIL) equal. And this is because of the fact that she sets and follows separate rules for her daughter which change radically when it comes to DIL.

A woman wants her daughter to live in all sorts of comforts after marriage but the comfort levels offered by her to her DIL are mostly questionable.

She wants a nuclear family for her daughter so that she doesn’t over-burden herself by serving the in-laws in a joint family after marriage but she expects her DIL to serve the entire clan. She imparts ‘special wisdom’ to her daughter on how to handle the in-laws diplomatically but expects her DIL to be simple and truthful.

She wants house maids for her daughter in her in-laws place but she expects her DIL to be superwoman who can singlehandedly complete all the tasks, including cooking, cleaning, washing etc. DIL are, in general never relieved from work to spend some leisurely moments.

She wishes to be in touch with her daughter through phone etc. when she is in her in-laws house but feels irritated when her DIL’s mother calls.

For her, daughter’s husband is responsible for all the faults or quarrels in the house, but her son remains the most innocent person on earth. She also holds responsible her daughter’s MIL for any dispute in their house but she always targets her DIL for all the disputes in her house.

She wishes her daughter’s MIL behave like a real mother but she never takes any step for becoming the same for her DIL. She expects new clothes, jewellery etc. for her daughter at special occasions but never thinks of gifting such things to her DIL.

She hardly cares for her DIL during pregnancy but expects the in-laws of her daughter to take care of everything during her daughter’s pregnancy. She explains the entire diet chart to her daughter over phone but hardly reveals anything to her DIL during pregnancy. Some over-biased mothers send fruits and nuts to her daughter but seldom provide such comfort to their DIL. For her daughter, giving birth to either a boy or a girl is OK, but she like an orthodox uneducated woman, expects her DIL to give birth only to a son! 

She wants her daughter to come to her place anytime as her wish and remain there but feels annoyed when her DIL expresses similar wishes.

She wants complete freedom for her daughter as far as wearing the clothes, eating habits or discipline is concerned, but she imposes all sorts of rules and regulations for her DIL.

She keeps assisting her daughter and feels proud of her achievements but most of the times doesn’t get pleased by her DIL success. If her daughter is a working woman, she gets worried of her comfort levels after office hours, but if her DIL is a working woman, she expects her to take care of all the household activities after coming from office. An exclusive example of double standards people possess.

There are many such examples which are too disgraceful to be discussed but still experienced by many females after their marriage. And then the questions arise, how is it possible for a woman to maintain dual character? Why is that a woman doesn’t understand another woman? Why a woman feels happy in torturing other woman? Why a MIL forgets the fact that she also was once a newly wed DIL. She also must have faced similar challenges and problems then why doesn’t she want her DIL life to be smooth and simple? Why she can’t let the DIL feel ‘at home’? Why can’t she create such an environment that her DIL’s forgets her original family?

There may be few DILs who possibly consider the above statements as wrong. I wish it should have been. As keeping DIL happier may, by the law of nature, keep daughter’s life also happier. MILs are also humans, so are the DILs. So, this plea is to every MIL, please embrace your DIL like your own daughter and shower her with all your love and affection so that DIL should start doubting if she was born to you or to someone else? Days never remain the same always, but making them favourable depends on our own acts and deeds. What you sow, so you reap theory applies everywhere. If we understand this truth in time, our life on planet earth will become easier.

4

Let’s party

today bottle, tomorrow glass

WordPress has its own class

thereafter its beer and bar

celebrations are not too far

this will be our party place

literal joy in a literary space

rise up and share your views

shower us with poetic booze

offer us with photographic ice

the haiku will be added spice

don’t care for right or wrong

come! let’s party all day long

18

Companions beware…!

I thought I should share a recent incident of cyber crime with you all. Though it looks bit odd but the fact is that I have been the victim of false transactions from my credit card with my pocket fully punctured. I have been using credit card for long almost seventeen years or so from the most reputed and safe bank of our country, the State Bank of India (SBI). 

Even before the recent ‘Go cashless’ drive, I used to be cashless from long ago and was too confident on my transactions and the safety involved. This myth got shattered few days back when I received the following messages within few minutes span on my mobile:

– Rs. 50.00 was spent on your SBI card at GOOGLE *SERVICES on 9 Jun 17 – message received at 09.06.2017; 12:05:46
– Rs. 6800.00 was spent on your SBI card at GOOGLE *Droidhen on 9 Jun 17 – message received at 09.06.2017; 12:08:04
– Rs. 13700.00 was spent on your SBI card at GOOGLE *Droidhen on 9 Jun 17 – message received at 09.06.2017; 12:09:02
– Rs. 13700.00 was spent on your SBI card at GOOGLE *Droidhen on 9 Jun 17 – message received at 09.06.2017; 12:09:18
– Rs. 13700.00 was spent on your SBI card at GOOGLE *Droidhen on 9 Jun 17 – message received at 09.06.2017; 12:09:32
– Rs. 13700.00 was spent on your SBI card at GOOGLE *Droidhen on 9 Jun 17 – message received at 09.06.2017; 12:09:44
– Rs. 13700.00 was spent on your SBI card at GOOGLE *Droidhen on 9 Jun 17 – message received at 09.06.2017; 12:09:59
– Rs. 13700.00 was spent on your SBI card at GOOGLE *Droidhen on 9 Jun 17 – message received at 09.06.2017; 12:10:06
– Rs. 13700.00 was spent on your SBI card at GOOGLE *Droidhen on 9 Jun 17 – message received at 09.06.2017; 12:10:17
Further, no transactions were possible and the next transaction of Rs. 13700.00 was declined due to insufficient credit limit.
In a nutshell, Rs. 1,02,750 (equivalent to 1604 USD or 1253 GBP) were transacted within a span of five minutes. All these transactions were approved without any OTP received to authenticate the transactions.
I immediately called the customer care and blocked the card and reported matter to the customer care as well as the cyber crime cell.

Though the matter is under investigation, I though it wise to alert all my companions so that they are doubly sure of the online usage of their cards and ensure extra protection for the transactions. 

4

my portion

no matter, if failure is my portion

I will accept it with full devotion

as it is not always devastating

despite being bit of frustrating

rise up! and start all over again

just swallow all tears and pain

as failures make you more humble

accept them without any grumble

they add to the flavour of success

take you faster on the path of distress

builds your character, makes you star

as you may lose battle but win the war!

19

bitter is not bad

though patience is bitter, the fruits are sweet

if we hang on to it, we get an awesome treat

the love also they say is nothing less than a pill

pay with bitter tears against your wish and will

hard times are the ones that try to make us bitter

it is up to us to be compassionate or a quitter

truth also appears to be bitter most of the times

and sweet lies are the root cause of all crimes

if lessons we take from life are relatively bitter

the associated successes are comparably greater

truly, in our life, getting the bitter is not always bad

unless we keep running behind sweetness like mad

7

my dream part two

she looked like an angel on the earth

each part of her body showing its worth

there were people dying to talk to her

but she called only me with a whisper

she held my hands and took to her lips

as I slowly placed my hands on her hips

alarm bell rang and I woke up frustrated

this is the definitive end I always hated

why needles of my watch always stops here

why she always remains far falsifying near

but this time I am not going to leave here

God! I want to make my point very clear

and shall I put my request in a better way

only you can give me what I always pray

God! I want to continue same dream today

please let the part two of my dream play

25

my digital wish

she is so far yet appears so near with her sheen

her words emerge from nowhere on my screen

and I feel the togetherness so close and profound

as if she is talking to me somewhere around

my words are readily converted to digital form

but will they be able to convert the feelings

O the great researchers of digital technology!

I desire to propose my need with a prior apology

please device a way to convert me into data packets

so I get transmitted in electronic form over gadgets

and I immediately reach to the tower near her

and then to the special modem for transfer

which would convert the data packets into real

and present me right in front of her to feel

this all will start with the fundamental essence

let her heartily accept the request for my presence

there will be no visa, no passport, no regulations

no railway tracks, no motorways, no tube stations

no traffic snarls, no burning of fuel, no tension

just enjoying fruits of this beautiful invention

everything will just change with this extra mile

we all will enjoy universe most healthy lifestyle