14

Can a MIL be a genuine mother?

mil

You would have come across various prose and poetic pieces on various media on ‘Mother’ but have you encounter any write ups or poetry on ‘Mother-in-Law’? We must treat all females of our mother’s age as our own mothers, then where had all the praise vanished for a mother-in-law? We celebrate mother’s day but have you heard of any mother-in-law’s day. It may exist but with a low profile.

When I asked these questions to some of my friends, I got a single reiterated answer; a mother-in-law (MIL) cannot, by any means, replace or match the mother. Surprisingly, even though, the same person is playing both the roles but the differences in the character and the nature creep in automatically by design. Some of the male friends did admit that their MIL showers almost similar affection as their mother but the females unanimously had a single answer and that was in negative.

And, I too felt the difference seeing the females getting such biased treatment by their MIL. Though, not many differences are experienced with father and the Father-in-law by the couples, when it comes to mother and MIL, it turns out to be drastic. This is supported by the well accepted conclusion that, a woman cannot by any reason, treat her daughter and daughter-in-law (DIL) equal. And this is because of the fact that she sets and follows separate rules for her daughter which change radically when it comes to DIL.

A woman wants her daughter to live in all sorts of comforts after marriage but the comfort levels offered by her to her DIL are mostly questionable.

She wants a nuclear family for her daughter so that she doesn’t over-burden herself by serving the in-laws in a joint family after marriage but she expects her DIL to serve the entire clan. She imparts ‘special wisdom’ to her daughter on how to handle the in-laws diplomatically but expects her DIL to be simple and truthful.

She wants house maids for her daughter in her in-laws place but she expects her DIL to be superwoman who can singlehandedly complete all the tasks, including cooking, cleaning, washing etc. DIL are, in general never relieved from work to spend some leisurely moments.

She wishes to be in touch with her daughter through phone etc. when she is in her in-laws house but feels irritated when her DIL’s mother calls.

For her, daughter’s husband is responsible for all the faults or quarrels in the house, but her son remains the most innocent person on earth. She also holds responsible her daughter’s MIL for any dispute in their house but she always targets her DIL for all the disputes in her house.

She wishes her daughter’s MIL behave like a real mother but she never takes any step for becoming the same for her DIL. She expects new clothes, jewellery etc. for her daughter at special occasions but never thinks of gifting such things to her DIL.

She hardly cares for her DIL during pregnancy but expects the in-laws of her daughter to take care of everything during her daughter’s pregnancy. She explains the entire diet chart to her daughter over phone but hardly reveals anything to her DIL during pregnancy. Some over-biased mothers send fruits and nuts to her daughter but seldom provide such comfort to their DIL. For her daughter, giving birth to either a boy or a girl is OK, but she like an orthodox uneducated woman, expects her DIL to give birth only to a son! 

She wants her daughter to come to her place anytime as her wish and remain there but feels annoyed when her DIL expresses similar wishes.

She wants complete freedom for her daughter as far as wearing the clothes, eating habits or discipline is concerned, but she imposes all sorts of rules and regulations for her DIL.

She keeps assisting her daughter and feels proud of her achievements but most of the times doesn’t get pleased by her DIL success. If her daughter is a working woman, she gets worried of her comfort levels after office hours, but if her DIL is a working woman, she expects her to take care of all the household activities after coming from office. An exclusive example of double standards people possess.

There are many such examples which are too disgraceful to be discussed but still experienced by many females after their marriage. And then the questions arise, how is it possible for a woman to maintain dual character? Why is that a woman doesn’t understand another woman? Why a woman feels happy in torturing other woman? Why a MIL forgets the fact that she also was once a newly wed DIL. She also must have faced similar challenges and problems then why doesn’t she want her DIL life to be smooth and simple? Why she can’t let the DIL feel ‘at home’? Why can’t she create such an environment that her DIL’s forgets her original family?

There may be few DILs who possibly consider the above statements as wrong. I wish it should have been. As keeping DIL happier may, by the law of nature, keep daughter’s life also happier. MILs are also humans, so are the DILs. So, this plea is to every MIL, please embrace your DIL like your own daughter and shower her with all your love and affection so that DIL should start doubting if she was born to you or to someone else? Days never remain the same always, but making them favourable depends on our own acts and deeds. What you sow, so you reap theory applies everywhere. If we understand this truth in time, our life on planet earth will become easier.

4

Let’s party

today bottle, tomorrow glass

WordPress has its own class

thereafter its beer and bar

celebrations are not too far

this will be our party place

literal joy in a literary space

rise up and share your views

shower us with poetic booze

offer us with photographic ice

the haiku will be added spice

don’t care for right or wrong

come! let’s party all day long

6

the real triumph

we may strive hard to be on the top

but there be a line where we stop

can’t compromise with peace of mind

as tranquillity in life is difficult to find

triumph is not when victory is ours

it is only when the happiness ushers

it is when we see joyful faces around

it is when a weak hopeless is crowned

it is when there is peace in the world

when music in the ears of deaf furled

triumph is not a discrete personality trait

it is what the entire humankind celebrate

14

wonderful kingdom

being here gives me too much pleasure

hard to conceive difficult to measure

all my companions from distant places

from diverse cultures and different races

walking with me on my artistic expedition

variety of writings in this literary mission

various landmarks, prompts and challenges

varied novelistic and eloquent poetic packages

this is an ocean of knowledge and wisdom

proud to be part of this wonderful kingdom

19

be pink-ed

they say that the colour of perfection is pink

let the pink tears dry, let the pink eyes wink

let the pink bodies get their perfect destination

let the pink feelings be colourful as their creation

let the pink colour triumph if it is an attitude

such personality trait always need to be pursued

pink makes the world a happier place to live in

it forces all the grey shades around to give in

pink is for tenderness, pink is for romance

let us give pink a fair and deserving chance

19

bitter is not bad

though patience is bitter, the fruits are sweet

if we hang on to it, we get an awesome treat

the love also they say is nothing less than a pill

pay with bitter tears against your wish and will

hard times are the ones that try to make us bitter

it is up to us to be compassionate or a quitter

truth also appears to be bitter most of the times

and sweet lies are the root cause of all crimes

if lessons we take from life are relatively bitter

the associated successes are comparably greater

truly, in our life, getting the bitter is not always bad

unless we keep running behind sweetness like mad

13

O dear money!

people can cross mountains and oceans for you

people can be waking whole night and day for you

people fight for you, people laugh and cry for you

people breathe you, people lose control for you

there are people who kill their loved ones for you

there are people who do daily office circus for you

more they get, the more they are attracted to you

you are in their minds, hearts and their dreams too

you are one language people speak all over the world

you make an animal out of any human across the world

you are the most essential thing in this pompous world

you are the sole reason for the unrest in this world

people love you more than their caring spouses

many love more than their parents and bosses

you are the one who creates troubles across the globe

you buy language, religion and even a country’s hope

you can buy peace you can buy the justice

you can buy fame you can buy the prestige

you are omnipresent, you are omnipotent

O dear money! you are the God at present!