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International Women’s Day

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They say it is International women’s day (IWD) today, on March 8. One need not wonder what about the other days? Men should also not feel insecure about knowing or celebrating the IWD or breaking their head in finding the International men day. All days are for all the creatures in this planet which rotates on its axis that causes day and night which we count for 24 hours.

Yes, this is a special day for women (and men) as it is to celebrate the success of women in their respective fields and also to applaud the new areas the women are exploring and conquering. There is effectively nothing left in this world that can be termed as ‘man only’ domain which nature has not restricted. And that brings the needle of the gender balance to the middle.

However there is another aspect of such celebrations. What is the relevance and applicability of the seminars, conferences etc. organized on this day? Who benefits? Are the people attending them are unaware of those points highlighted in the talks? There need to be much more ground celebrations on this day. Especially among the poor, the tribal and the orthodox part of the world where the women are still struggling to get their due share of respect and equality.

On this day, let each one of us carry out an introspection on this day as to how much we have contributed towards the equality of women? At least to the women whom we are living with, to our sisters, our daughters and above all, the better half? As men we may not have much say on what goes through our mother or the sister but definitely, we are responsible to what kind of treatment we give to our daughters and wife. If we correct ourselves at personal level there, things will be definitely under balance.

 As far as the official scenario is concerned, there is a lot improvement required. But if we understand our responsibility and remain true to ourselves, there will be drastic improvement. Can we imagine a scenario where:

In office as the boss, we ensure that the women subordinates are treated equally without any prejudice.

  • In public places we keep our eye focus on the women same way as we do it for men.
  • In isolated areas we do not get the adrenaline rush pumping out seeing a lonely woman.
  • We treat our daughter –in-law equal (if not better) to our daughters
  • The police personnel nail the ‘crime against women’ culprits on war footing
  • A pregnant woman is treated as Goddess.
  • The worker class women are treated with respect and pride and not someone who can be taken for a ride, literally.
  • The cases in the court bear priority tag with lawyers pushing for speedy justice.
  • The mercy petitions for ‘crime against women’ are out rightly rejected.
  • The administrators at local and district level see that the women applicants are given their due.
  • The husbands share the household tasks equally especially the kitchen.
  • The diapers of the kids are equally changed by the fathers.
  • The fathers take care of the kids for a considerable amount of time.

This is definitely not a comprehensive list which takes care of the inherent inequality that is embedded in the system nor is the commandments for a balanced society. If anywhere we feel we fit in, let’s improve upon that area with the efforts that come directly from the bottom of the heart. That certainly will be a great tribute to the society (not women) on this IWD.

Image courtesy: Google
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#MeToo or #WhyShe ?

And finally the #MeToo revolution was triggered in our part of the world. Till now we were just following the stories from other parts of the world especially the USA and debating on them. Until one fine day one of the so-called victim stood up and shared her side of the story. The story was soon encapsulated in the searching shell of #MeToo and the much awaited trigger was finally pressed. Though there was not much of hype anticipated in this part of the world as the number of socially proven rape cases daily are far more than the number of #MeToo cases expected. In this part of the world, where every minute a Draupadi is being molested and all the Dhritarashtras and Bhishmas remain passive and mute, what value a #MeToo case can carry? Seeing the plight of women in this part of the world, these victims unanimously agree that #MeToo cases are far too less a molestation for them. That probably may be one of the reasons why #MeToo arrived so late in this part of the world. Continue reading

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Should we help others?

This straightforward question started troubling my mind when I encountered a situation which is quite common for all.

Recently I had to go to the railway station to pick up my wife as my happy days as forced bachelor were coming to an end with the arrival of my wife from her mother’s place. She always insisted on me picking her up from the station. Possibly she wanted to read my expressions on encountering her after a lull. But I am doubly sure even if the expectations on the expressions were not up to the mark she is not going to catch a return train back home in any case? Continue reading

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Garbage from a polluted mind

Do you like visiting a historical museum or an archaeological site? Many of us may not and many just wonder why people spend their time and money in seeing things which people say ‘were used by the historical figures earlier’. Whether it is the dress worn by the kings or the gun, or the vessels, the throne, the crown, the equipment, the cushion, the locks etc. all these can tell the current generation how we have been evolved over the years. These historical things are the testimony of it. Continue reading

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The need to learn cooking

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Life teaches us many things that we keep reading even in the books too, but what a married life teaches generally varies from couples to couples. Still it is worth learning from the experiences from someone who is married as they say, ‘Marriage is like a sweet,  whether you choose to eat it or not, you will either way repent’.

Generally in a traditional society the responsibility for the household work goes to the females, which is being moderated as the society is heading towards ‘gender equality’. Women are more and more competing with men and taking up all the stuff that men once boasted of exclusively theirs. The ‘only men’ domains are perfectly barged in and successfully occupied by women. However this remained more or less a ‘one way traffic’. Men mostly never tried to attempt what was earmarked as the women’s job. So the flow didn’t happen in the reversible fashion.

One of the best examples to ponder is the art and the responsibility of cooking. As the law of inheritance mostly the daughters helped their mothers in the household work. In this process they learned cooking and continued the same even after their marriages. Even in the working couples, it is an unwritten understanding that the women will be cooking for the family after returning from the job. They do. Some manage by multitasking, some by outsourcing a bit and some by getting help from their male counterparts.

What about men? Men never owned cooking as their activity at home. However it is normal to see ‘only men’ chefs and cooks at every hotel in this world. So most of the Chefs are men but not the vice versa. Surprisingly these men after returning back to home wish to eat the food what their female counterparts cook! So, at home cooking still remained a women’s job for them and what they cook is regarded as the ‘official work’!

Notwithstanding all this, in my opinion each and every man should know cooking. In traditional old-fashioned families, boys are treated as the prince and the girls, the maid servant. So the boys are not allowed to carry out or even help in the household activities. That is the reason once they come out of the parents’ umbrella either pre-planned or abrupt, they struggle to survive.  They keep quenching their hunger with ‘ready to eat’ stuff or the ‘outside cooked’ food and somehow manage to remain alive.

Many such men see a valid and stressing point in getting married. They will get pleasure to their tongue and tummy with ‘home made food’ apart from the much awaited sexual pleasure.  And for that reason, if their female counterpart falls ill for even a day or so, their life turns like hell. The ailing wife has to forget all the pain and sickness to cook even in that condition for their royal husband raising the valid question as to who is really sick. The wife with the fever and pain or the helpless incapable husband? And if the wife has to visit her mother or the mother in law place for few days, the husband becomes sick even listening to that. Others too ask, how will he manage food? And the fairy tale continues.

So, the crux of the matter is that each and every individual, if holds a stomach should be able to survive if and only if he possesses the ability to cook.  Standing on your own feet is socially equivalent to cooking by your own hands. You may never feel left out, cornered, humiliated or frustrated after marriage or even before that, if you possess this skill. Undoubtedly, the art of cooking makes the personality shine luminously bright of its own light. No eclipses, no darkness!

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O women!

you are always so very uncompromising

undeterred, uncomplaining, unconditional

unbelievable, unimaginable, unstoppable

you are the women and you are a miracle

you are, so the house has become a home

because of you the kids are brought up

you maintain balance in human lives

you are only one who never gives up

you don’t ever feel the need of a man

but a man always want you with him

you are behind the success of a man

your roles are the most powerful ones

you are the foundation stone of a family

you are called the better part traditionally

you never take any task just for granted

if you never did then you never wanted

you are the powerhouse fully equipped

O women! you are one to be worshipped