Parenting in middle age


Being a father is definitely the most beautiful and blissful feeling and becoming father in the middle age is a heavenly thing. As per the unwritten norms of our society, marriage for a male generally takes place somewhere between 24-28 years and for a female between 21-25 years. As the couples reach their forties, they generally travel far from the parenting business and stay confined to fulfilling the daily needs of the kids which most of the times remain limited to the local purchases from the market.

Just imagine this; you are in the middle of a board meeting and suddenly your mobile phone rings with the ‘home’ tune. You whisper on your phone as your wife is on the other side. And your get the order, ‘Please bring two packets of diapers while returning home.’ You say, ‘OK’ and hang up slowly raising your head up to see if anybody noticed.

It is true, becoming a father at the age of forty two or forty five years can sometimes end you up in awkward situations. Mr. Rajkumar, who works for a public sector recalls, ‘When I entered the office exhausting my paternity leave immediately after the birth of my second son, I saw people pointing fingers and gossiping as if I had committed a crime. I heard people telling each other, ‘He is the one’. Even while walking in the corridors people especially ladies used to smile and giggle as they pass by.’

For mothers it is not that bad socially or even at their office, thanks to the long maternity leave. However age related pregnancy complications are something that makes them worry. Many women develop diabetes or blood pressure and that effects the gestational period as well as the course of the pregnancy.

Even for the sibling, it is not so easy. A gap of 12 to 15 years between two kids put up fair number of chances for the elder one being mature enough to understand the happenings. He or she need to face the innocent as well as unpleasant questions asked by the colleagues. Some colleagues even impart unwarranted ‘gyana’ to them presenting a bleak future at home. That is the reason the elder kid either starts feeling insecure or assumes the fear of parental love being divided.

Most of the men take it easy and being a father in the forties provides them with an opportunity to revise their basics. Mr. Bhaskar who works for an insurance company doesn’t feel shy to become father at a ripen age and responds positively to his colleagues’ suspicious looks and expresses firmly, ‘Yes I am the one who became father again at the age of forty four.’ Though there are few like Mr. Pandian working for a private bank who never told the news to anyone till it got accidently disclosed after almost two years.

The charm and excitement of re-fathering a newborn in the middle age is amazing. Hugging, cuddling, sitting on the knees, going office late, making indefinite calls from office to talk the newborn, rushing home after office, doing baby shopping, singing lullabies, changing the diapers, massaging etc. are the fun-filled spirited activities that bring back the youth in an otherwise statistically old man. You feel enamored re-living those old days again which people say, can’t be brought back. Though it is true that only the daredevils or the rare-devils can afford to let it happen. But, this adventurous is worth experiencing and evidently worth enjoying every bit of it.


13 thoughts on “Parenting in middle age

  1. Do what is right for you! And, its the nature of people to talk and comment: secret behind the successs of social media😉
    A mature and supportive father will nuture a beautiful, healthy, and intelligent child. Enjoy the phase and the family life.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a delightful post. I’m so happy for you and your wife that you’ve had the opportunity to bring up a little child at the age when you’ve had time to become wiser and more stable in who you are personally. It will be a great blessing to your child that you are the age you are.

    Liked by 1 person

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